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Adoptee Poetry: Never

As I’ve mentioned before that during my search for my biological family, I wrote a lot of poetry, essays and thoughts and feelings down. I have journals, notebooks and binders filled to over flowing with words I had to get out. It’s a safe place for me to go when depressed, angry or frustrated. Thankfully, most of my current day writing is much brighter and not as dark as back then.

I do own the copyright on all of my own work, however I have not shared most of these publicly before. They have been posted on an adoption website I used to own, and might have been shared on an adoption forum before, but they are not available in any book format as of yet. I have decided that my “family” here at families.com are people I feel comfortable sharing them with. This is like a second home to me, and I know that you will all read them and understand.

Please feel free to make comments or suggestions. I will even take good criticism. Also please remember that the majority of this was written over ten years ago, so it’s not new and lots of things have changed since this was originally written.

“Never” by Nicole Humphrey

Dear mother, where did you think I would go,
When you gave me away, so long ago.
Did you think that I would forget,
That we never really met?

I am determined to find,
that which is mine.
That which was whisked away,
Twenty one years ago, today.

I am entitled to know,
Wherever I go,
Who was my first mother,
Who can replace no other?

Will it be fine someday,
Will I need to find a way?
To step into your heart,
Where they won’t tear us apart…….again.

Will you open your life?
Though it cuts like a knife.
And can I hear those words I want to hear?
I’ve loved you my daughter, for all these years.

For then I will know,
From all that you show.
I have been loved forever,
by someone who was once told….never.