Adoptee’s Poetry – Looking Through The Glass

I thought I’d share another piece of poetry today. It’s been really awesome reliving some of the memories, and the feelings that were associated with my search and subsequent reunion. Obviously there is so much more to my story, that will come out over the next several months.

I really hope that some of these pieces will give other adoptee’s a sense of peace. A glimmer of hope, that knowledge that somebody else has been there, and completely knows how you feel.

“Looking through the glass” – Nicole Humphrey

I’m looking for the key to a burning fear inside.
I am hoping that with time I will know the answer.
I have tried to put the peaces together, but to no avail.
They remain scattered, covering the wooden floor.

I had a flash, of a beautiful woman,
silhouetted by the moon.
She stood there holding her arms out,
To embrace the invisible child.
She remembers that day, each morning when she wakes,
She feels the pain, in each squeal or cry she hears.

I saw her in the store the other day,
She wore black as if to morn the death of a loved one.
Is that what “it” was? Death?
No because here I am bright as day.
She glanced my way, I guess she thought maybe…
For I was her age….. Is it her?
I wondered what she thought and felt,
until I saw her wipe a tiny tear from the corner of her eye.

There was another flash, quick yet I remember,
You stood there holding a crumpled piece of paper.
You gave it to me, and I took it.
I looked at this piece of paper yellowing with age.
And I could see each wrinkle was from the guilt you felt inside.
This paper was the key to your heart.
And this was the answer to all my fears.

The paper was pressed, and framed, as it was the key.
It was to be displayed for all, to come and view.
Because this paper was a record of when you said goodbye.
The name, Robin, was there… and I knew…
All I had to do was call.

I still am in the darkness, for there is more fear to replace the old.
Someday I will come into the light .. but it will take some time.
I have already been in darkness for twenty one years,
What’s a few more?