Most adoptive parents are nervous about the “homestudy”, single parents perhaps more than most. The term “homestudy” refers both to the process of pre-adoption meetings with a social worker and the report the social worker prepared based on those meetings, and on letters of reference and evidence of financial stability.
The homestudy includes a visit to the house, but contrary to reputation it is not about primarily about the house. It is not about wealth, neatness, or organization. You do not even have to own your home. The only requirement is that the home has space for another child. Our social worker did not even look at most of our home. We talked in the living room. She was required to look at the room where we anticipated the child would sleep. In our case, our younger daughter would share with her older sister. We did not yet have a crib set up. The social worker stood in the doorway, said “that’s where the crib will go? Good, plenty of space.” That was it. (In fact, the crib would barely fit, but the important thing is that it would.)
So what is the homestudy about? It is about ensuring your readiness to parent, and thinking critically about what type of child you are prepared to parent. All parents need to think about this. Single-parent status may not automatically mean you cannot adopt a certain child, but it may be a factor in whether you have the time, energy and resources to care for a certain child. For example, a caseworker may be looking for a stay-at-home parent for a child who has had multiple foster homes. A child with medical needs may require a parent to take a lot of time off work. A child requiring a lot of physical caregiving may be more than some single parents can handle. You can access my blog about the homestudy process by clicking here.
Is there anything that single parents should be especially aware of regarding the homestudy? Carefully assess your job situation, energy, available help, and health and be prepared to honestly discuss them with the social worker. He or she is not there to disqualify you, but to try to ensure that you are matched with a child you can parent successfully. Like all parents, you will be asked about your child care plans. (Most agencies recommend that one parent stay home with the child for at least a few months.) Like all parents, you will be asked about the parenting you received and what, if anything, you plan to do differently with your child. The social worker will also ask who you plan to call on when you are sick or need a break. She may ask who you would designate as guardian in the event of your death.
In sum, prepare for the homestudy by thinking about your situation, reading about common needs of adopted children, and imagining what your life will look like as you meet those needs. Also focus your mind on what you have to offer a child. Remember,
“To the world you might be just one person, but to one person you just might be the world.” (Author Unknown)
Please see these related blogs:
Homestudies Really Aren’t That Bad
Foster Parents Will Have Emergencies