Our first adoption brought us so much joy. It was our son who provided us with the honorary title of “Mom and Dad”. During that drawn out journey for our family, it was truly about helping us achieve our dream of parenthood. When we began to long for a second child, we noticed it felt much different than it did with our first child. This time around adoption wasn’t about making my husband and me parents; it was about making our son a big brother and growing our family.
Unlike with our first son, there wasn’t the desperation or the same kind of heart ache involved. I suppose much of this was because I was busy with my family. I also recognized that I was a mom and I was no longer holding out for that title. Instead of dreaming about taking my child for nature walks and sharing with them the wonders of God’s creation, I now pictured my children playing together and going on family vacations building sibling memories that I found precious in my own childhood.
When we set out to adopt our second child, we thought it would be much easier since we’d been there and done that. I had no idea how different each child’s case can be. We weren’t expecting the challenges we had with our second adoption. In just one short year adoption laws and state policies changed, there were new case workers we were working with in addition to a new county handling our case. Add all this to the fact our new son’s case involved a first time birth mother and birth family wanting involvement in the case. Our youngest son’s case was more difficult too because he was considered a foster child; his case was not yet legally freed for adoption even though it was headed in that direction.
In the end (what my husband reminds me is our completed family) each of our boys has a special place in our family. Who they are and how they arrived in our home is special. If we should ever feel called again to adopt, I will not be naïve and assume the next case will be similar to either of these experiences.
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog