You Are Special; You Were Chosen is a sweet little book which grew out of the bedtime story that the author’s father read to her each night. Its soft, detailed colored pencil/pastel illustrations definitely qualify it for my Adoption Books with Great Art series. The lovely pictures show diverse children and families, including siblings of different races, which I really appreciate, as that is something I have a hard time finding. Books featuring a multiracial classroom are becoming common, as are books featuring families of color—but multiracial families are still difficult to find. I almost bought a book the other day just because it had an illustration of an Asian daughter l and a Caucasian dad.
(The illustrations aren’t labeled either siblings or friends. I’ve assumed a sibling relationship for at least a couple of the pictures: one showing children formally posing for a picture and one showing young children in pajamas. I actually prefer the uncertainty—it allows the reader to imagine that it fits his or her own family—maybe it’s multiracial siblings, maybe it’s cousins who are transracially adopted, maybe it’s a group at preschool or Sunday School.)
Author Joanna Ferlan’s father took some construction paper and wrote his baby girl a story. Ferlan writes in the introduction that she grew up feeling very special—almost sorry for those not adopted. She has since met many adult adoptees who she feels lack self-assurance. Ferlan believes her dad’s story was important to her positive self-image and outlook, and desired to share that with other adoptees, children and adults. She was helped in writing and illustrating her version of the story by co-author Mary Fox Prather, a retired teacher, and Ling Andreasson, Swedish clothing designer.
The story involves a guardian angel “who knew your birth mom and your new mom. Long before your two moms knew you were going to be a gift, the angel had a plan.” The story talks about the birthmother taking care of the baby growing inside her, then having the courage to give the child a better life, to a family full of love who was waiting for this child who is so special, “created and loved in many a heart”. The story conveys with great warmth the love that everyone feels for the child.
Some adoption workers no longer like the term “chosen child”, fearing that a child will feel that they must live up to expectations of adoptive parents who chose them specifically. Also, they realize eventually that someone “unchose” to parent them first.
This book is so warm and positive that I don’t think chosen will be a negative. At the end of the book is a two-page spread, listing ways people can be special—talents, physical traits, qualities like understanding, ability to speak a second language—and asking, “What Else Makes You Special?” The book seems to reassure the child that they are special to their families whatever their talents, personality and looks may be.
Also, today most adopting parents do not choose a specific child, but wait for a child to be referred to them. Of course the adoptive parents have a choice, but it is not—thank heavens—like going to an orphanage or a stop of the Orphan Trains and having all the kids lined up for you to choose from. An exception may be parents who are initially drawn to their child by a description on a photolisting.
The book includes a code to download the audio version of the book so that it can be listened to through computer speakers or on an IPod, a Zune, or similar device; or burned to an audio CD.