We ended up having a rather traumatic and stressful transition for Makala and Jeremiah. There was a combination of things that added to the stress we felt. Our children were matched with us during November and our state committee met the third week in December. We found out one week before Christmas that we were parents and our children were living in a foster home, over 300 miles away.
The cards were dealt and we had a terrible hand. Everyone involved had to agree, given the seven-day waiting period, we would not be able to start the transition until after the Holidays. Ugh! However, it was true it would be terrible for the foster family and all eight of the children in the foster home, to have us show up Christmas morning to take two of them! Even though, that was exactly what I wanted to do, we acted like loving and caring people and WAITED until after the New Year to get our transition plan started.
It worked out well actually, because as hard as a little kid empty Christmas had been, the day after sales were amazing! We had not planned to adopt a little one. We had imagined two girls about age six and 10. We were matched with a little boy who was about to turn one and his sister who was nearly five-years-old. We needed Everything! Including, the swing-set Makala had asked for her new family to have. It was interesting in December to watch my husband find the supplies and build a swing-set, but like a good dad he did–in the snow!
Eventually, the day came when we were able to get into my really sweet 1997 Camaro and drive the 300 miles to check into a hotel. The plan was a 14-day transition with a lot of interaction between the foster family and us. It was clear very fast that we were a very different kinds of families. We frankly had nothing in common which made transition very difficult.
We celebrated the first of four family birthdays, during the next month, at a little restaurant 300 miles away from home. Daddy turned 41 and we went to an all you can eat buffet. Our transition ended up being shorter then the original plan. We got down to business right away and met with the doctor, therapists, Head Start class. Where we provided cupcakes and juice for a goodbye party. We attended the Church children’s group Makala was involved with, took the children to the park and an indoor fun park. We kept them overnight with us in the hotel, which was insane, and most normal parents don’t do anyway.
As things turned out the foster family was having a difficult time letting Jeremiah go. They had been his parents for almost all of his first year of life. It was hard on me to be taking a baby away from a good and loving mother because it was very clear Jeremiah had been well loved in the foster home. We packed up the children’s toys, clothes and personal items and mailed it all to our house. We left behind the–too big bike and too small skates–Makala had gotten from Santa. On the ninth day of transition, there was a huge goodbye party at the Foster Home.
The next morning we stopped by the Children’s Services Office and signed the pre-adoptive placement papers and a bunch of other paperwork. We were given the children’s Lifebooks that had been made by the state with the help of the foster family. And the four of us crammed into my Camaro and started the 300 mile drive home, just in time to celebrate Jeremiah’s first birthday.
Mommy got a mini-van a week later for her 40th birthday and Makala turned five-years-old a week after that.
For more information about Transitions:
- Getting Ready For Your Child’s Arrival
- Adoptive Parents WAIT!
- Transition is All About the Baby or Child
- Starting you Child’s LifeBook
- Planning For Transition
- When Travel Is Required
- From Orphanage or Institution to Home
- From Foster to Forever in the Some Home
- Toddler Transitions
Photo credits for this blog entry: 
(Camaro notice given to rb94teg; Van no use restrictions)
Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms:
A | B | C | D | E-F | G-H-I | J-K-L | M | N-O | P | Q-R | S | T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.