Many people are surprised to learn that adoptive mothers can and do breastfeed. While pregnancy hormones are a help in producing a milk supply, what really starts the process of lactation is the action of the baby sucking on the nipples. Some adoptive mothers are able to totally breastfeed their children. Others whose milk supply is lower can still give their baby the unique nourishment in breastmilk while supplementing with formula.
An adoptive mother wishing to breastfeed will need to prepare. In addition to learning everything she can about breastfeeding, she usually begins using a breast pump a few weeks in advance of the baby’s anticipated arrival. The action of the pump is not as efficient as a baby’s suckling, but can still help to stimulate milk production. A lactation consultant can help with this (consult your doctor—many practices have a nurse who is a trained lactation consultant on staff—or your local La Leche League chapter for referrals).
If you have not had the chance to start early, you may still be able to produce some milk. A baby is born primed to nurse. If possible, ask to nurse your child immediately. Of course, this will have to be negotiated with the birthmother. Many birthmothers, now understanding the benefit of the early breastmilk called colostrum, choose to nurse their babies at least once during the hospital stay. This often panics the adoptive parents, who believe it means a birthmother has changed her mind about placing the child for adoption. This should be discussed ahead of time with the birthmother and adoption counselor. Some jealousy is normal, but if the birthmother wishes to breastfeed remember the health and immunity benefits to your baby. Also realize that it may help your nursing relationship because the baby will have been trained to nurse when he is primed to do so. Receiving nourishment from the birthmother’s breast may motivate him to keep suckling at yours when your production is low.
Many mothers take advantage of herbs such as fenugreek and medications or hormones which can help induce lactation. Again a lactation consultant is your best resource. Another help most adoptive mothers use, at least in the beginning, is a Supplemental Nursing System. This helps to start the cycle of nursing going (milk is produced by the baby sucking; the baby will suck if rewarded with milk). The supplementer brings the baby formula or pumped breast milk through a tube taped next to the mother’s nipple. In this way the baby is motivated to keep sucking and the nipple stimulation increases the mother’s own milk production.
One might think that only newborn babies can be taught to breastfeed. By far most of the nursed adopted babies I know were adopted as newborns. However, the La Leche League magazine once carried an article by a woman who induced lactation via pumping and taught her four-month-old Korean baby to nurse, and an anecdote about an adopted toddler who indicated that she wished to nurse as she saw her same-age sibling doing.
The classic must-read book on this subject is Breastfeeding the Adopted Baby by Debra Stewart. Another title available is Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby and Relactation.
For personal stories, consult The Breastfeeding Cafe: Mothers Share the Joys, Challenges, and Secrets of Nursing. According to the reviewer, it contains stories of breastfeeding by both an adoptive mother and a birthmother who was placing her child for adoption (along with numerous stories of women who nurse while working outside the home, women who serve in the military, women who nurse premature babies or multiples, older mothers, teen mothers and more). The index indicates that a total of nine pages discuss breastfeeding and adoption.
Please see these related blogs:
Can I Breastfeed Again after I’ve Stopped?
The Who, What and Why of Lactation Consultants