I didn’t finish my third blog in the traits of adoptive parents series. I had illustrated how recovery and restoration from the hurtful and damaging things in the child’s past might sometimes take a very long time to be fixed. This blog will focus on the fact that many of those things sometimes heal rather quickly. My statement that it doesn’t always happen should not be taken to mean that it can never happen.
Tommy came to us at age two and a half. He had experienced two open heart surgeries to repair a badly malformed heart valve. Once we found out why he had that scar down the middle of his chest, we made an appointment with the cardiologist who was familiar with him at Texas Children’s Hospital.
After a very thorough examination that included x-rays and an echo cardiogram, we were told that he would need to return for a similar exam every four months to make sure that his heart was functioning properly. Within two years, the valve was performing well enough that he only requires an annual check up. In ten years or so, he will need an artificial valve at least that is how it looks now. We know that God changes hearts all the time, we want him to fix Tommy’s one more time.
One of the children came to us having been exposed to crack cocaine in the womb. For the first two years or so of his life, he was oblivious to pain. One doctor who assessed him saw him run into the sharp corner of the desk in his office. The child had a dent in his forehead where we could see the impression that it made. There was no crying or tears; he had not felt the pain. Two years later, his nervous system functions normally.
Tommy was assessed as having learning disabilities. He is now above average in cognitive ability. Jacob was assessed as being at risk for autism. He is an extremely bright child. He could read Walter’s first grade books at four years old. He had learned to read by listening to Nancy teach the older boys, at preschool, and watching educational television. Nancy was teaching Tommy how to make an “m”. Jacob walked by the table and said, “Up down, up down.”
There is no guaranteed formula for healing. Love and prayer seem to work the best. God knew our boys a long time before we did. We will keep them in His hands.
Related Blogs:
Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 2
Adoptive Parenting Traits, Part 3
Crack Moms, A National Problem