Children learn how to act by watching and interacting with other people in their lives. Adults need to set good examples for their children and other children. In a nationwide survey conducted in the late 1990’s only 27% of student’s in grades 6-12 said they had parents and other adults in their lives that model positive, responsible behavior. I guess the old saying “Do as I say, not as I do” is still a widely used method of parenting.
Like it or not we parents are our children’s most important role models. We need to have a sense of purpose and personal pride that we convey to our children. Children watch us and they hear what we say, they pick up our good and bad habits. Both of my parents smoked cigarettes. They started before the majority of people knew it is hazardous to our health. My siblings and I watched them smoke, and all of us have smoked at one point in our lives.
Parents are not perfect people, we will make mistakes, but we can do some things to help instill this important asset in our children. Try to spend some time each day with your child. Let them know how important they are to you. Talk with your kids about other adults they know who are good role models. If possible, try to establish and build positive relationships for your kids with these adults. This is especially important for children of divorce who primarily live with one parent.
When you hear of a good deed or something spectacular that someone has achieved, point it out to your child. For example, if you hear of someone returning a large sum of money that he found, you could say to your child-“That person seems trustworthy, or has a lot of character to return what did not belong to him.” Talk openly and honestly with children especially when you make mistakes. Share in your triumphs as well.
I remember the day I got to watch my mother (we were both adults) graduate from college. I was so proud, and I still am. It inspired me to return to college and eventually earn my degree. Even as an adult my mom still had a very positive influence on me.