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Against Playdates

playdate

Does your child have playdates? I’m not sure if the term is a universal one, but around our neck of the woods a playdate is what it’s called when two children get together and play. The thing that distinguishes it from simply getting together and playing is that the parents call each other up and arrange a specific time for this playing to happen.

I’m against playdates.

Ok, I’m being a little facetious here. I know that children play together, and I’m completely happy with that. Actually, as the mother of an only child, I’m overjoyed when my daughter has playmates and so is she. It’s just that the concept gets me a little bit.

First, I don’t like the term. It reeks of yuppie goodness to me. “Why yes, I can schedule you for the first Friday of the month for forty-five minutes, sounds good to me.”

I have this vision of a community where kids just play. On the days when we are home, my daughter pines for other children to play with. Sometimes there are other children available, while much of the time most of the children are away on structured playdates and lessons.

Now, I have an aversion to scheduling playtime with another child as a part of her calendar. Yes, play time is important, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could just play when we wanted to play? Casually, and without a lot of advance preparation and social niceties? Maybe I’m against social niceties. For instance, two seven-year-olds could go off into the local community on their bikes and zoom around. Two four-year-olds could invite each other into the yard over the back fence, and then they’d play. No big deal. No planning ahead.

Maybe this is undervaluing play in the life of a child. It just seems that with all of our busy schedules, play has become yet another thing to do. Can you imagine two adults penciling each other in for a casual chat about the weather?

What do you think? Are playdates an important part of your child’s life?

(Image courtesy of hortongrou at stock exchange)