Sometimes I think the only thing that separates what is “normal” from what is not, is our own personal belief systems around things. I don’t mean to sound like an anthropologist here, but as single parents, we may be holding up the “normalization” of our single parent families with our own belief systems. Maybe if we let go of antiquated ideas or trying to fit into a perfect “Brady Bunch” mold, we can allow our families and our lives to be more normal.
Who decides what is normal and what is not? Well, we can blame “society” or the “media” for defining normalcy in our society, but we individuals participate as well. If I had it set in my mind that a “normal” family lived in a house with a big yard, a two-car garage, a dog and a male dad and female mom—I would have to admit that my family is anything but normal. This could wreak havoc on a person’s self-esteem and confidence—not to mention effect our children too. But, I can decide that living in a two-story townhouse with three cats and one mom is perfectly fine and totally normal. And then I can pass along that comfort-level and confidence to my children.
We single parents are often confronted with the “what is normal?” question (along with what defines a family and who “counts” as family members), but it might not dawn on us that we are “holding up the show” with our own belief systems. We CAN decide that our family is normal and even if someone outside of it may have a different opinion—what we believe and what we pass on to our children is completely within our control. We have more power to normalize our family existence than we may realize.
Also: Is Your Family Normal?
Loneliness is Normal (but Not Necessary)