I woke up this morning deciding that I want to go on strike—not from being a mother or a single parent, but I want to go on strike from always being a hostess, the hostess, and very seldom a guest. Either I am such a bore as to be a terrible guest, or I have learned how to be a hostess too well—regardless, I’m tired of always being the one with the clean house and the matching wine goblets. After thirty years of throwing parties, usually by myself, I’m ready for an extended hiatus.
The thing is, I actually like hosting dinners, parties and gatherings—or at least I used to, but I cannot remember the last time someone invited me over without asking me to also bring a dish/meal or help in some major way. I might need to do some serious self-examination to see if I am not a horrible guest—I try to remember to bring host/hostess gifts, offer to help clean-up, use my manners, etc. Perhaps times have just changed—in the world I was raised in, it was considered customary to return an invitation or an evening at someone’s house with the offering of entertaining at yours. I guess that isn’t the rule any more since I have had some people to my house dozens of times and never been invited to theirs. What is the world coming to?
I cannot help but feel like it must be something wrong with me—is it because I am one instead of two? Is it because I am a single parent or I have bad breath? Am I a horrible conversationalist? Is it my children or the fact that people don’t know if they have to invite my kids too? If all of this is true then why do people come to my house? I do notice that my own entertaining efforts are waning over the past couple years. It is just losing its fun since it seems so one-sided, so I am hosting less and less. I also notice that my Christmas card list is dwindling and is now made up mostly of those people who also send cards in return. Those folks who I sent cards to for ten years or more who never sent a single postcard have fallen off the list. Am I becoming a snarky, bitter, old woman? Or am I just ready to take a break from having to always be the hostess?
If you know a parent or family who always seems to be the host–consider inviting them out for a change–they would probably love an invitation…
Also: Ideas for the Perfect Hostess Gift
Generating Conversation at the Dinner Party