I confessed yesterday in my writing that I have a tendency to wrestle with that “should” voice—the one that haunts me with all those things I let myself think I should and could be doing. Last night, however, I started thinking about how I have a tendency to feel like I’m a slacker if I am not always working, parenting, keeping house, whatever. Since there is always something to do in my single parent world—when I get tired and worn out, it is hard for me NOT to feel like I am being a slacker…
The reality for many single parents is that even if we know in our heads that we are not slackers and that we “should” take some time to relax or let go of all of the obligations, we also know that when we do, we run the risk of getting behind or losing our precarious hold on organization. I do not have a staff of people to clean my house, run errands, do the shopping, or even keep things running in my small business while I take a break. If I don’t do it, no one will and that is a reality I share with most single parents here in the U.S. So, how do I balance the need to take it easy, with the need to keep moving on the treadmill of life as a single parent?
Well, obviously I don’t always do such a grand job of it! I do try to cut myself a little slack without giving in to images of myself as a slacker. My problem is that when I have a really efficient and productive day, I want them to continue indefinitely. If the next day is only half as productive or I just can’t muster the same energy level or inspiration, I panic and think I am going to fall behind. It does help for me to give myself some positive self-talk and remind myself that while every day cannot be a stellar, productive day—all in all, I am managing to hold it together. I don’t know if I will be able to truly relax and ease up on myself until after my children are all grown up, but I am trying to achieve some balance and self-appreciation.
Also: Quieting the “Should” Voice
There Will Be Days When the Exhaution is Unbearable