It’s true – our contemporary society favors marriage in almost every aspect. There’s the social acceptance related to two people living together and building a life together. Granted, people live together all the time without marriage, but for many – the social aspects are incredibly important. There are the governmental benefits such as filing your tax return jointly and there’s the employer perks that often favor married employees over singles. There’s also the joint ownership of property and social security benefits that favor spouses over a cohabitator.
Marriage is Promoted
Marriage is promoted through over 400 state and 1000 federal legal rights. These are rights that cannot be guaranteed or achieved through contractual agreements. So when it comes to making a decision to marry – the reason non-traditional couples seek the same covenants as those marriages that consist of a man and woman is not always just a romantic, but a pragmatic concern.
There is no religion that guarantees a couple legal rights over next-of-kin, decision making during medical emergencies or joint parenting. Inheritance laws are vague at best and there are no veteran’s discounts on medical care, home loans, education loans or bereavement leave to care for the sick partner if they are not a spouse.
Is it any wonder that whether you agree with a lifestyle choice or not, that the myriad of couples want to have their relationships recognized as marriages and not civil unions. If a couple can be married in a civil ceremony inside a courthouse with only a justice of the peace presiding and is still equated the same amount of weight as that offered in a religious ceremony – then the religious convictions that apply to marriage should only apply to those of that particular faith.
That Being Said
Marriage is often equated with stability in our society. Those of us who have been married can often agree with this statement. We live longer. We are healthier. We are more financially fit. Our children are often more confidant and secure. The official commitment made between two people creates a seal that offers both comfort and security because the community endorses marriage and it’s a commitment so official that it makes a person think twice before walking out the front door.
The most fundamental institution of our society is the family. It is our mothers, our fathers, our brothers and our sisters. Stable relationships and stable marriages strengthen the foundation of that institution. You know how I would like to see marriage strengthened in this country? How I would like to see our families empowered?
I’d like to see legislation that promotes generous family leaves, a higher minimum wage that keeps up with the higher costs of living and work harder to help make health care more affordable across the board for families, especially those with young children. We should make it clear that our landscape is one that has a commitment to the well being of the future for all of American families and not just the ones that we approve of.
Our Country, Our History, Our Future
I read recently a statement that categorically defined the United States as a Christian nation founded by Christian forefathers. What the statement forgot to mention is these were forward thinking men and women who fled the countries of their origin to settle in a new nation – who created one that would not persecute others and that truly embraced the concept of love thy neighbor. It did not say, agree with thy neighbor. It did not say, make thy neighbor agree with thee. It said, love thy neighbor.
Marriage can last a lifetime – and it certainly affects everyone that it touches – let’s make supporting marriage about making family and marriage important – not diminishing others. Let’s make it about strengthening the bonds that bring us together, not creating rifts to tear us apart.
Marriage is about love.
It’s about fidelity.
It’s about a commitment to each other and to the family you will build.
It may even be about happily ever after – but the only fairy godparents that can make that happen are we.
What other ways can you see that would truly help strengthen marriage and family?