From the time I was little I always thought that if you worked hard, did your best, and were living right you’d be blessed and everything would just work out. So you can imagine my disappointment when I found out life didn’t work this way. I had to learn the hard way that bad things happen to good people, and bad people often get away without any consequences. Life isn’t fair.
When it comes down to it, you can be saying and doing all the right things, but sometimes other people’s choices affect your life and you have no control over it. This was something I struggled with a lot when I first got divorced. I felt like I was taking all of the consequences for the decisions that he had made. I hadn’t done anything wrong. That’s not to say I was perfect in our marriage, but the reasons we were getting divorced had nothing to do with me, and yet I was the one suffering for them. It was a totally helpless feeling and I was incredibly frustrated by it for a long time. I had to keep in mind that it didn’t matter what he was doing anymore, what really mattered were my decisions from here on out. Things weren’t supposed to work out that way, but again, I was reminded that life just isn’t fair. So I picked myself up and started piecing my life back together little by little.
I still have a hard time accepting the way the world works. I would do a lot to be able to see some justice in the world. It seems if you are doing all the right things that ought to count for something, right? Otherwise, what’s the point? In the end, I will still work hard and do the things that I think are right because that is simply who I am, but it sure would be nice to get some payoff from it!