Recently I wrote about letting anger out. But even when angry you need some guidelines.
Stop and think first of the impact of the words and the way in which they are said. Being angry doesn’t give you the right to say what you like when you like but rather, the anger needs to be tempered with common sense, wisdom, tact and awareness that sometimes it is inappropriate to vent that anger. It might just have to wait a little till a better time, till your spouse is more receptive or you are not on your way out or off to work. The point is not to let it wait too long, so that like a cancer its spreads and infects every area of life, but schedule in a time so you can talk.
Sadly, some people instead of retreating into silence resort to alcohol. Alcohol and anger is never a good combination, as it releases inhibitions often making the person say and do things they wouldn’t do otherwise.
Be careful too of accusatory tone and phrases, so it doesn’t come over like you are making a list of your spouse’s fault. Rather it is more about how it makes you feel when he leaves rubbish on the floor or the washing up undone or as two women said to me recently the washing undone.
Make sure you’re talking to the right person about the problem. One woman was complaining because her husband and family were home still in bed and having a day off while she was out working. Yet she knew when she got home the washing would still be sitting waiting for her to do, because that is the usually happened. Instead of complaining to me, she needs to take her complaints to those who can do something about it.
Another was complaining because on her day off she had to do all the jobs around the house no-one else thought to do. It sounds like a lot of talking and some delegation is needed in both these households because to date all that is happening is the women are getting angry and venting to others.
Related articles
What Does it Mean to be Head of the Household?- Part 2
Who Is the Better Communicator?