Emotion is a good thing and inevitable. But, when the tempers flare and fly in the family scene, it isn’t a license for disrespect or bad behavior—either from parents or children. Learning how to face emotions, say and do what one needs to, but remain civil and respectful can take some focus—especially if you were not raised in a world where that is how things were done.
Sure, we all lose our tempers. Parents aren’t immune to getting frustrated and losing perspective. But, it isn’t an excuse and it does not give us license to say and do disrespectful things to our children. After all, our treating them with disrespect just teaches them that is a reasonable way to react when one is angry. Just because they are children doesn’t mean that they don’t have every right to expect us to control ourselves and express ourselves without being rude, abusive, aggressive or nasty.
We tend to treat our children and those closest to us in a way we would never treat a stranger or a coworker. When we’re out in public, we want to put our best foot forward but we might show our ugliest, snarkiest side with those we love and care about. While there is something to be said for letting our guard down and being able to be human within our families—we can learn to show and share emotion without being disrespectful tyrants. Don’t our kids deserve the BEST of us, and not the worst? And, don’t we owe it to our children to teach them that having and expressing emotions is natural, but not a license for treating other people horribly?
If you are not able to control your temper when you get angry and often find yourself saying and doing things you regret and need to apologize for, there are many therapists, counselors, and anger management groups—not to mention books, web articles, and other resources that can help you develop new ways of coping with anger and intense emotions.
Also: Dealing With Anger the Islamic Way