A father in Florida may never look at pizza the same way again.
Ditto for his kid.
When the Domino’s guy shows up at your home with a half-pepperoni, half-sausage pizza, I’m pretty sure he’s not thinking his delivery is going to be used as a weapon.
Ditto for the rest of the world.
Not so much for a father from Florida.
According to reports, a 38-year-old Gainesville dad was recently arrested for hitting his daughter with a pizza slice. (Yes, a slice of pizza!) Police say the man was charged with one count of child abuse without great harm, a third-degree felony.
The man’s name has been withheld to protect the identity of the victim, who happens to be a minor.
Yeah, the pizza-flinging father used his young child as his target.
According to police, the man got mad at his daughter for spending too much time on her computer. Then, when the girl refused to turn off the electronic device, her dad began hurling racist and sexist terms at her. The girl responded with a few choice crude words of her own, and that’s when the pizza started flying.
Police say the father “intentionally threw a slice of pizza at the victim, striking her in the back of the neck, against her will.”
However, instead of getting mad, the girl decided to get even. She called 911, spoke to authorities and a few minutes later police arrived and arrested her Italian pie-chucking parent.
Police are not releasing any additional information regarding the case, so it’s hard to say whether the dad is a chronic abuser or he just experienced a moment of insanity. Regardless, heaving pizza at your own child is not exactly going to win you Dad of the Year honors.
And what about the pizza? Police wouldn’t reveal if it was a steaming hot slice that scorched the girl on contact or whether it was a cold piece featuring hardened coagulated cheese, which could leave quite a mark if thrown across a room by a grown man.
Details. Details.
Not that it matters. In Florida it is illegal to hit your kid with a slice pizza. Period. It doesn’t matter if she makes you so angry that you feel like exploding like Mt. Vesuvius.
Bottom line: It’s never a good idea to deal with childhood defiance by calling your kid names and hurling Italian entrees at them. Instead, revoke the computer privileges and save the pizza for dinner. Or shove a few slices in your mouth and count to ten. It beats having to spend the night in jail and being labeled as an abusive parent.
What do you make of the pizza madness?
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