In a book I’ve been reading, the couple ends up divorced after the husband has an affair. While we may consider that wrong, there is another side to the story. It is that his wife has neglected him.
From the time their son was born she replaced her husband in her time and affections with her son. Everything revolved around the son. No child should ever be put in that position where they are the centre of a parent’s world.
Part of the problem in this case was the way she gave into the child and either allowed the child to sleep with them, and I’m not just talking about when he was a baby but as a four or five year old.
When our children were young knew they did not come into our bed at night. That was for Mom and Dad. Even in the mornings if they woke before we did, they could get up and play or read quietly in their rooms. They did not come into our room unless invited. Then there would be cuddles and maybe a rumble on the bed.
To me, it’s all about setting ground rules for behavior and making sure the children know what they are. Your spouse is the one you have committed to for life. As such they must take priority and not feel they are always pushed aside for the children and that the children come first in your life. That is not good for a marriage and this lack of attention to your spouse can be the catalyst that will have them seeking solace elsewhere.
Obviously there are going to be times when the child’s needs will have to be put first, if they are sick or have an accident or need special attention for a time. But as a general rule your spouse should be your top priority and then the children.
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