John and Jane were given some appreciation exercises to do – you may be wondering what is an appreciation exercise? An appreciation exercise is an assignment that helps you to express your appreciation for another person by guiding you through it. Some people have a hard time opening up about their emotions and vulnerabilities. It is even harder for a married couple to expose their vulnerabilities to each other when they are not confident about the reception it will receive.
When two people are married, there should exist a trust that allows them to be vulnerable with each other. If that trust is disrupted for whatever reason, it’s important to learn how to rebuild it and open up once more – by sharing vulnerabilities – a couple can achieve a new level of communication and enjoy the feeling of being appreciated.
Here are a few appreciation exercises that you might want to try – they are relatively painless and even the simplest of the exercises will likely bring a smile to your spouse’s face as well as your own.
Appreciation Exercise #1 – How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Make a list of your spouses’ best qualities and then give examples of them. For example, you might say “Knowledgeable.” And then write – “Who knows these things?” next to it. Or “Scrabble Champion.” You want to make sure these are qualities that impress you, that you are tickled by and that you appreciate. Practice writing a few down right now – you’ll be amazed by the fun memories you evoke for yourself. When you share the list with your spouse – they will be touched and likely feel the appreciation.
Appreciation Exercise #2 – Walk a Day In Their Shoes
It’s hard to relate to someone who doesn’t understand what you do or why you do it. Ask your spouse to make a list of all the things they do in a day. Seriously, if they get up early every morning, take care of the pets, get breakfast ready, get the kids up or even drive them to school. Just make a list of everything they do – then take a day and do it all for them. You will be them for that day – all the errands, all the necessities – everything. You may flub a few things and you may not be able to do it all (for example, chances are you can’t go to work for them) but you can try to walk in their shoes and see the day from their perspective. You may find that there were things you didn’t know, things you should be appreciating more and your spouse will be touched that you wanted to know.
Appreciation Exercise #3 – Make Them a Gift
Yes, it’s an old truism that you can buy a lot of things, but gifts that you make come straight from the heart. The first quilt I ever made, my husband begged me for. It was pink with flowers on it and he can’t stand pink, but he loves this quilt. It was the first one I’d made and he wanted it to be his. He talks about it every time quilting comes up or when he’s wrapped up in on the sofa. He calls it a personal hug from his wife – it meant a great deal to me that he wanted it, still wants it and knows that I made it just for him. He returned the favor one day when he built me some shelves in my sewing room. Nothing big or fancy, just three or four shelves so that I had a place to stack my fabrics. It was a great gift and it showed.
So appreciate your spouse today and remember – when you show the appreciation, they feel it and will often return it in kind.