The book What Young Children Need To Succeed defines this asset as “Parents and other adults have realistic expectations for children’s development and don’t push beyond the child’s own pace. Adults encourage children to do their best and develop their unique talents.
This is an extremely important and difficult asset to balance. First, we need to understand what appropriate developmental stages they should be in during each age. Read as many books as possible. If you are not a big reader, then talk to people who know, or at least give the appearance that they know what they are doing as parents. Talk to teachers, your child’s doctor, and other parents to gain information.
Children develop at their own speed. Don’t be concerned if they are not right where the latest developmental theory says they should be. Be patient and don’t expect children to develop equally or simultaneously in every area of their lives. It is important for us to understand our children’s unique personalities and individual needs.
I have tried to avoid labeling my children. When I want to communicate that I am pleased with them or something they have done, I try to in certain cases us broader language. For example, when my son painted a lovely picture, so I told him that I thought it was outstanding, and that he is creative. I resisted the urge to say, “You might be an artist someday.” That may put unnecessary pressure on a child and decrease his interest in art as a hobby. On the other hand, if I thought he had a great level of interest and was talented in that area, I would do everything I could to enhance that talent such as signing him up for art classes, hiring a private art tutor, purchasing art supplies and whatever else might be appropriate.
I agree that we should not push our children, but I also think we need to have high expectations for our kids. Don’t get me wrong, I do not care if my child does become an artist or whatever his profession is, I want my children to do the very best they can at whatever they do. Right now, they are school age, and they are expected to work very diligently and do the best they can for each assignment. I do understand that they are children and will make mistakes. I do not expect perfection, because that is unrealistic, but all of us have high expectations.