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April Fools: Three Things You Thought You Knew About Adoption

There are some things that “everybody knows” about adoption. This “knowledge” is so well-known, of course, that facts and first-person testimonies, even the evidence of one’s own eyes, apparently aren’t effective.

One couple was showing off their new baby, whom they had adopted at birth here in the U.S., at at a large family-and-friends picnic last summer.

When the new parents told the story of their recent adoption, another guest asserted “Well-Known Fact Number One” confidently:

“That’s impossible. There are no babies to adopt in the United States.”

April Fools! The truth: In the U.S., in-country adoptions outnumbered international adoptions last year.

I would have offered to let the guest change the imaginary baby’s imaginary diaper.

“Well-Known Fact” Number Two: Only the rich can afford to adopt.

April Fools! The truth: Adoption from the child welfare system is free. There are babies available through state adoption as well. For domestic newborn and international adoptions, the average cost of adoption in 2007 was between 20 and 30 thousand dollars. This figure represents the salaries of caseworkers, attorneys, and child care as well as passport and visa fees, background checks, photocopying and court fees, and often either a contribution to the orphanage (in international adoptions) or to the birth mother’s medical expenses (if a U.S. newborn adoption). That’s steep—but no one thinks it odd to spend that much to acquire a car.

“Well-Known Fact” Number Three: The U.S. is the only country willing to adopt children from other countries.

April Fools! The Truth: Citizens in Denmark, Sweden, the Netherlands, Canada, Australia, Mexico and many other countries adopt children from other lands. The Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries, especially, have significant numbers of children from Korea and China.

(The Truth, Part Two: American children are being adopted in other countries— because there aren’t enough adoptive parents willing or able to parent African-American children.)

Please see these related blogs:

Top Adoption Myths


Top Ten Adoption Myths, Part Two:

Debunking Adoption Myths: Myth #1 – Birthmother Changes her Mind after the Adoption is Finalized

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About Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism. She resides near Seattle with her husband Charles and their three children. Pam is currently primarily a Stay-at-Home-Mom to Patrick, age 8, who was born to her; Meg, age 6, and Regina, age 3, who are biological half-sisters adopted from Korea. She also teaches preschoolers twice a week and does some writing. Her activities include volunteer work at school, church, Cub Scouts and a local Birth to Three Early Intervention Program. Her hobbies include reading, writing, travel, camping, walking in the woods, swimming and scrapbooking. Pam is a graduate of Seattle University and Gonzaga University. Her fields of study included journalism, religious education/pastoral ministry, political science and management. She served as a writer and editor of the college weekly newspaper and has been Program Coordinator of a Family Resource Center and Family Literacy Program, Volunteer Coordinator at a church, Religion Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Youth Ministry Coordinator, Camp Counselor and Nanny. Pam is an avid reader and continuing student in the areas of education, child development, adoption and public policy. She is eager to share her experiences as a mother by birth and by international adoption, as a mother of three kids of different learning styles and personalities, as a mother of kids of different races, and most of all as a mom of three wonderful kids!