When you think of a foster home you think that they would be pretty much the same however that could not be further from the truth. Our two sons were placed in foster care around the same time but they were not placed in the same home. First I really do not understand that, siblings should be together. I understand there are some large sibling groups that finding a home to accept the entire group may be impossible, but we are talking about two kids. When they were placed in foster care one was a month and the other was two years old so why would the state not place them in the same home?
The two year old was placed in a state foster home, which means the state inspects and licensed the home. The month old was placed in a private agency foster home. On paper they may look the same, they get funding from the same agency, they need to have the same training and safety requirements. With a state foster home it is up to an overworked social worker to make sure that the children are safe, well cared for and treated well. Now I can only speak to two homes that our kids came from, I am sure there are state foster homes that are absolutely wonderful. With a private agency home the case load is much smaller so the attention to details is better managed.
With our son that was in the state foster home he was in the same home for a year. During that time they had not potty trained him and he barely spoke. When we met him the case worker thought we would have to teach him sign language because he had never heard him speak. They had a total of 4 pictures of him during the whole year that he was with them. When he came to the CPS office he came with a trash bag of clothes that did not fit him. He was in a size 3T or 4T and the clothes were all size 2T and smaller. He had such a bad case of lice that 4 treatments later they were still not gone.
With our other son he was in the private foster home. He came to us with a scrapbook of his year with them, with pictures and notes about what he was doing and how he was as a baby. When we took him home he had a small duffle bag with clothes and a bag full of new clothes on hangers. Let me say the foster parents get a check per child to cover their rooms and care and they also get a separate clothing allowance quarterly.
I wish we had more pictures of our oldest child and it would have been great if the foster home had taken some for him. He has only 4 pictures of the first three years of his life.