I have some incredible memories of my kids’ growing up, and I also have some unpleasant memories of a dissolving marriage and divorce, not to mention other little hard times that make up my past. As parents, we can find ourselves reminiscing, wishing, and getting nostalgic on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes they are nothing more than brief, sweet memories, but other times, our memories can become so strong and constant that they keep us from being able to live in the moment.
What can you do with all those memories and what do they mean? I do believe that if you are being “haunted” by memories on a constant basis that it is a signal that you need to deal with them. Whether they are pleasant memories or unpleasant ones, if they are coming up again and again during the course of every day, there must be something there that your inner self is trying to get through. You might want to see a therapist or counselor and try to dig into why the memories are always right there on the surface. It may be that you can work on unearthing what is going on yourself. Is there something going on in your current life that you don’t want to face? What are the memories and nostalgia that you are clinging to? Are you a certain age or in a specific stage of your life? Are you having a hard time letting go of guilt or shame or a negative experience? Is fear motivating you to cling to those memories?
Sometimes, I think we can just get stuck–change and the future are great unknowns, but we feel comfortable with what has already happened. We knew who we were then (or at least we know who we were NOW, we might not have at the time) and that can be extremely comforting. The problem is, if we are clinging to a certain period in time or dreaming of when our children were a particular age, it can keep us from being able to appreciate and fully experience the way things are today.