There are many relationship and marriage articles out there that discuss the importance of communication, openness, and honesty. The three of these are essential for a healthy and happy relationship. So does that mean that secrets are not allowed?
Is it okay to keep a secret from your mate?
I think that secrets can be acceptable. It all depends on what type of secret it is. Some will claim that no secrets are allowed. However if the secret does not directly affect your mate or your relationship then it might be acceptable to keep it to yourself.
For example should your whole past be revealed to your mate? Is it really necessary to let him know that you went skinny dipping with the football team in high school? Does he need to know that you kissed his best friend before you were a couple?
Some things may be best not told. Of course if your mate ask you a question directly, you should always be honest. Yet if he doesn’t ask and it doesn’t change any aspects of the relationship then maybe you can keep it to yourself.
Some others will claim that secrets are perfectly fine if the truth will hurt your mate, then you should not tell it. They feel that keeping the secret is better than the hurtful truth. This idea is presented in the “Good People Can have an Affair”.
While I do not agree that secrets that directly affect your relationship should be kept (such as an affair), I do believe that in some cases having your own separate thoughts and ideas is okay. It may be looked at as not to really be a secret but a topic that just never was discussed.
So what do you think? Are any types of secrets allowed in a relationship or should all guts be spilled?
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