I suppose it is pretty well known that it is not so much the problems and issues we know we need to work on that give us fits, it is the ones that we have nor or are not facing. When it comes to single parent families—there may be unresolved problems and issues coming from divorce, separation, death, or other realities that we haven’t completely dealt with and worked through. As long as those issues and problems are unresolved, we will have trouble getting on with building a healthy family…
Putting things off or not facing all of our problems in the heat of the moment is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it can be a healthy coping skill. We often have to deal with survival and just “getting through” a major crisis and it is only in the aftermath that true healing can occur. The trick is to make sure that we go back and address those issues so they are not allowed to fester and bubble and influence whether or not we can move on.
When there has been a separation or a divorce or even a death that has contributed to our single parent family status—getting through the crisis and transition can take every bit of energy and focus we have. As things start to settle into a normalized life, we do still have to go back and deal with issues in order to be free of them. This can mean spending some time talking things through with a trusted friend, meditating, getting involved with a spiritual community, writing and journaling, or seeing a counselor or therapist to help us put unresolved problems and issues to rest. Don’t overlook that your children may need help working through those unresolved issues too. Healing after a crisis is a family affair. By working on unresolved issues and letting go, you’ll be able to move forward as healthy, peaceful family.
Also: Watch Out for the Unspoken Issues
Creating a Positive Home Environment