This is a bit of a weird question, but I was reading a variety of different articles in other areas over the last couple of days and one of the themes they seem to be arguing is that we as a society are too dependent on marriage for our individual happiness. Whether we are married or not, a barometer of social satisfaction and happiness seems to be based on marriage.
For Example, The Decline in Marriage Percentages
Reports that show married couples comprising only 50% of households seemed to be disheartening to some. What’s wrong with marriage? We’re all looking for the answer to be framed in a way we can understand. Is it the presence of same-sex unions? Is it the ease of divorce? Is it the growth of couples who cohabitate but do not marry? Is it a sign of our social decline? What is wrong with us? What is wrong with our marriages?
I’d like to take a moment to submit a controversial thought. I don’t think anything is wrong with our marriages. I think our perceptions and expectations are skewed. I think we are looking for personal satisfaction and definition in the same places we find our entertainment.
In the 80s, the problem was that we all viewed marriage as we thought it should be — through the eyes of a 1950s television show like Father Knows Best, but the reality is that in the 1950s, marriages had their own set of problems and they were just as likely wishing they had that Father Knows Best relationship too.
Marriage Is Work, But It’s Not the Single Source for Satisfaction
Our self-image as a society is hard to define because we are a conglomerate of different ethnicities, religions, sexual-orientations and generations. What is satisfying for me is not going to satisfy my neighbor and vice-versa. But I think too often, we are dependent on this ideal we have of marriage and when that happens, we cause ourselves problems. We create the very problems we don’t want to have.
Instead of seeing things as they are, enjoying the good and repairing the bad, we see them as we think they should be – an ideal – and it’s very hard to live up to an ideal.
Do you think we’re too dependent on marriage?
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By Juno! Happily Ever After & Going Strong