Are you a ride or die woman? I watched an infuriating episode of Dr. Phil last week that was on this topic. A ride or die woman is basically one who stays by her man no matter what. While that sounds great and I am definitely all for keeping a marriage together, there are limits.
The woman on this show was refusing to leave her husband who had cheated on her numerous times. There was also no indication that he would stop. Yet she wasn’t willing to leave him because she loves him and she didn’t want her son to be raised without his parents being together.
Well the reality is that they aren’t together…not in the truest sense if he is cheating on her. Establishing boundaries in a marriage are just as important as loyalty. Being loyal to your spouse doesn’t mean being a doormat.
I also don’t see how any man could respect a woman like this. Where is her inner strength and dignity? If she thinks so lowly of herself that she would settle for this behavior, how can he possibly respect that?
Now please don’t think I am letting him off the hook. I would have to write an entirely new blog just about what I think of men like that. My focus here is really on the underlying motivation of a ride and die woman. Is it really loyalty or is it a lack of self worth?
I believe in marriage and I believe virtually any struggling marriage (yes, even when adultery is involved) can be restored. But I believe it takes work, willingness on both sides to make changes and a commitment to one another.
A ride or die woman who allows herself to be taken advantage of is not really showing loyalty to the marriage because a marriage is supposed to be built on trust. When that trust is broken, it needs to be repaired but that doesn’t mean accepting bad behavior.
A commitment to work together as a couple to fix things is very admirable. But when one spouse isn’t willing to change and the other insists on allowing it, well then don’t complain to Dr. Phil about it.
What about you? Are you a ride or die woman?
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