There are many different kinds of parenting styles to choose from. Some of them are very beneficial both to the children and the parents. Others are disadvantageous to not only the children, but also to their parents. Among the worst is the “snowplow parent”. Actual snow is not required for a parent to choose this parenting style.
Emma Waverman, writing for Today’s Parent defined a snowplow parent as “a person who constantly forces obstacles out of their kids’ paths. They have their eye on the future success of their child, and anyone or anything that stands in their way has to be removed.”
What are the signs that you might be a snowplow parent? WebMD provides signs of snowplow parenting:
Typical justifications are that it’s faster or easier. Parents often use these justifications that it’s faster or easier to do something themselves, rather than teach their child to do it properly. This may be true, especially for parents of young children, but if it’s repeated enough these minor actions can accelerate into deeper forms of snowplow parenting.
Over-involved in school. Some typical snowplow parent behaviors include “helping” a child with a project or assignment by doing most or all of it; attempting to intervene if their child gets a bad grade; or being in constant contact with their child’s teacher.
Over-involved in college. While checking in on your college-aged child, especially if they exhibit any troubling behavioral patterns is normal, snowplow parents might take things too far. Some examples of over-involved behavior of snowplow parents include: texting their child to make sure they get up for class; scheduling doctor’s appointments or oil changes; or emailing professors or school administrators on behalf of their child.
Snowplow parents believe they are doing the best thing for their child. Unfortunately, there are some problems that children (of any age) face if they were raised by a snowplow parent.
Parents Magazine points out some problems children of snowplow parents face:
Trouble dealing with frustration. They become less comfortable with frustration and less able to complete tasks on their own.
Poor problem-solving skills. The snowplow parent pushes away obstacles that their child might face in school or in sports. This leaves the child without any experience in solving problems on their own.
Lack of self-efficacy. Children who were raised by snowplow parents never have to deal with the consequences of their actions, and end up feeling a lack of self-efficacy. Another way to say it is learned helplessness.
Increased anxiety: Parents that make decisions for their child based on anxiety act in ways that are meant to soothe their child instead of teaching children how to manage their fears or to learn coping skills.
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