I read so many articles about single parenting and the tone is never good. Just about every article you read is negative, either they are telling you how badly the children are going to turn out or about how bad the single parents have it. They always talk about surviving; I don’t like the sound of that. I’m not surviving my daughter’s childhood, I’m enjoying it. Yes we struggle at times, as do many two parent families. I refuse to think of myself as a victim, there are so many people in this world who have gone through worse things than a divorce.
If I am a victim as a single parent what am I telling my daughter? No matter what happens in your life your children are still a blessing. I don’t ever want my daughter to feel that she has been a burden, that if I had just been single instead of a single parent my life would have been so much better. My life would not have been better, it would have been different and I may have had other opportunities but I would have missed out on the best thing that ever happened to me.
My life is so much richer because I am Hailey’s mom. That doesn’t make me a victim, I am a very lucky woman to have such a wonderful daughter and even though it’s hard sometimes, I get to spend so much more time with her than I would if I were married. Hailey is the focus of my life in a way she wouldn’t be if we were an intact family, I don’t think that makes her a victim either, I think in many ways she is luckier than other kids.
Yes it’s hard, yes money is tight, yes there is very little time for myself, but, I am Hailey’s mom, first and foremost and that makes me anything but a victim.