Recently, I read Kori’s article titled Exes as Friends. After reading an article with red flag warning signs for a troubled marriage, she immediately caught on to one particular point about people staying in touch privately with exes. This apparently is a red flag for troubled marriages. Kori disagreed and so do I.
I actually disagree strongly. First of all, in my own personal experience, which of course is mine and mine along, I communicate with my ex privately all the time. Mostly this is because my new husband has absolutely no interest in my ex and if I feel there is something important to share with him, that he should know about, he will. Honestly, that seems to be more of a trust issue than anything. Just because two people are communicating privately, does not mean there is anything to red flag.
Usually I am the first one to promote a positive relationship between exes, so I cannot understand why that would be a red flag area for some. It is important to realize that there is a reason for them being an ex in the first place and that just because two people can be friends doesn’t mean there is something going on. Positive relationships between exes is extremely important for the children to see and witness. It helps promote positive relationships with that parent as well as with others who they might not see eye to eye with.
My ex and I aren’t exactly “friends” however we do get along for the most part. We try to have good communication and we try to disagree when we are away from the kids. We find that being friends is actually easier for us, when we set aside our past differences, and deal only with situations that involve our children. In fact, honestly he knows very little about my personal life and I know very little about his. However, we can eat out together when he is in town, we can take the kids somewhere fun and just sit and talk, and for the most part we function as two old time friends, rather than two exes.
So are you friends with your ex? Do you think that your relationship with your ex will affect any new relationship you come into?