What do you wish was going better with your child? I think as parents we often think that our kids go through phases and we just have to take things as they come. Often life gets in the way and we start to feel like we are losing our connection with our child or that we don’t really know or understand what is going on and we just have to live with it. We don’t! If there are areas in your relationship with your child that can stand improvement, you can identify them and make efforts to bring about some changes.
The first step, of course, is in the identification. Unless we are in counseling or therapy or some big issue comes up, I think we have a tendency to not really think about whether we are happy and satisfied with our relationship to our child. We just assume that whatever is, is how it is meant to be and we just have to accept and adjust. But, what if it isn’t all we want it to be? What if we really would like to spend more time with our child or do more fun things or even understand each other better? Knowing that you would like to improve the relationship is the very first step!
It also helps to figure out what you would like things to be like and what you can reasonably expect. If you are hoping to have a family life like the Brady Bunch, your expectations may be a bit unreasonable. Also, if you are hoping to have a gregarious, athletic-based relationship with a child who is not the slightest bit interested in sports, you are likely being unreasonable. Finding a way to be realistic and get your needs met, while taking into account the needs and temperament of the child is important.
Finally, expect that change will take time and effort. You may need to do some research or get some help in order to figure out how to strengthen or change your relationship with your child. There may also be areas where your child needs to change and develop in order for things to be different. This can take some time, so try to remain patient and keep focused on the goal—a stronger, more loving, and/or more connected relationship with your child.
Also: Bonds Need to Be Stretched and Tested