By the time we are adults, most of us don’t give much thought to the words we use or the way we talk–unless we are in a situation where we feel as though we need to be on our best behavior we just “let it all hang out” when we are talking to family and friends. In raising our children, however, we may be passing on biases, racism, and sexism without even realizing just by the language and words we use…
“Boys will be boys” or “Isn’t that just like a girl!”; how about “Women drivers!” or “Men never ask for directions” or comments about different “types” of people being better or worse at jobs and activities? All of these are ways that we might pass on judgment, bigotry and bias to our children without even putting much effort into it! Many of us would be offended if we heard someone say something classically racist or make a comment about a person’s skin color–but we think of nothing of other types of bias or things we might say that reflect a bigotry that is so ingrained we don’t even know we are carrying it around or passing it on!
I know that it can be tough to be on our best behavior all the time. You might be thinking that if you cannot let your hair down in the comfort of your own home among your “peeps”–when can you? But as parents, we are ALWAYS role models for our kids. As imperfect as we may be since we are just natural human beings, our kids are listening and absorbing everything we do and say so those little throwaway comments can having a lasting impact. Are these really the sorts of things we want to pass on to our kids (even if we aren’t sure how they got passed on to us?)
Also: What Do YOU Think About That?
Helping Children Learn to Make Charitable Choices
The Fruit of Our Parenting Labors