Perfectionism seems to plague plenty of us—we may be incredibly hard on ourselves, expecting that we will keep all of our balls in the air and complete all our myriad tasks with ease and without mistake. It’s tough enough when we’re wrestling with our perfectionism on our own, but what if we are passing it on to our children?
Regardless of whether we intend it or not, our kids are watching us and picking up on our values and our way of operating. If they see that we are putting a lot of pressure on ourselves to have the perfect home, and do a perfect job at everything—they may take on those stressors too. Not to mention, if our perfectionism includes how we think our kids should be dressed, how they should talk and behave, how well they should do in school, and/or what their social and extracurricular lives should look like—we really are putting a lot of stress and pressures on our kids too!
Some children may take on this perfectionism as their own, striving to meet the expectations that parents have established. Others, will definitely balk and rebel and may even give up trying since they will get the message that no matter what they do, it will never be good enough or they will never live up to a perfectionist parent’s expectations.
It is never fun to admit our faults or work on how our personality traits might be affecting our children, but perfectionism can do a great deal of harm and create an unpleasant environment for our kids. Of course, we parents seldom intend to do anything to make things tougher for our kids. If you have a tendency to be a perfectionist, it might be time to take a look at whether or not you are passing on your perfectionism to your children.
See Also: Do You Feel Guilty for Telling Fibs to Your Kids? and Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff