Kids need to be praised. When you praise your child it not only gives them a boost in self-esteem, but it also can be a great motivator to them. Yesterday as I was madly working on paper after paper for school, my three year old came and sat next to me with one of his LeapFrog games. This is how we do “homework” together; he works on his letters while I work on my lesson plans. It gives me a chance to get things done while still spending time with him. After every single letter he would hold up his game and excitedly say, “Mommy! Are you so proud of me?!” Each time I would tell him what a great job he did and then I would go back to my paper, until the one time I didn’t look up from my paper. I heard him quietly say to himself, “I can’t do it. It’s just too hard for me.” The second I stopped praising him he lost all confidence in himself.
As your kids get older, they may not need constant praise like your preschooler does. They’ve come to realize that they are great at some things, and not so great at others, so giving them empty praise can actually do more harm than good. They need to know you are genuine in your praise. Be specific about what they did well. Instead of just saying, “Wow, you did a great job!” Try saying something like, “Wow, I really like the colors you chose on that picture!”
In the classroom we use something called PCP, which can certainly be implemented in the home as well. When a child brings home an assignment that still needs a little work start with some praise. “I can tell you worked really hard on this project!” Then gently correct what needs to be corrected. “Maybe if you moved this word over here it would work a little better.” And always, always, always end with some additional praise. “I bet your teacher is going to be so proud of you when you turn this in. You are doing a great job!” It’s important to end on a positive note with children. You don’t want them to be overwhelmed with what they did wrong or they will feel like a failure. Don’t let a day go by that you don’t tell your child how proud of them you are. We all know how special our kids are, it’s about time they knew it too!