Maybe you call it “getting stuck” or maybe it is really just trying to avoid change or hold back the tide—but sometimes we purposefully hold ourselves back to keep from moving all the way through a period of transition. It can be because we are afraid of the unknown or because we have been through so much change already that we want to stay still for a while. Other times, we may just get into a “comfort zone” and not be ready to push through to the other side. The thing is, change comes along anyway and resisting can just make it harder on us.
Prolonging transition can be tough on our kids too—they are sitting in a limbo period waiting for the other shoe to drop. For example, if we have ended a relationship and are hanging in that limbo zone—not going through with the divorce or restructuring our family and our lives, it can give the child a feeling of insecurity (not knowing what is going to happen) or he might be holding out hope that things will go back to the way they were. If we are unable to move on, our children will be unable to move on too.
Staying in the “wait and see” mode for too long can be stressful and unsettling for a family. If you have been holding out trying to decide to take that new job, make the move, or go through with another change—hanging in that middle-ground can be more stressful than actually moving forward and moving through the transition. Sure, change happens, but we can be trying to hold back the inevitable or keep from making a choice or decision and this may not be a healthy place to be. It might be time to make a decision and move on.