What do you define as “spoiling”?
I have been accused of spoiling my daughter on many occasions, to which I reply: “She isn’t spoiled, she is blessed.”
Apparently, my definition of “spoiled” differs from others.
To help set the record straight on spoiling, childhood experts have come up with a number of questions parents should ask themselves:
*Does your child treat you poorly?
*Do you find that you struggle to say “no” to your child?
*Do you make idle threats?
*Are you afraid of upsetting your child?
If you answered “yes” to any of the aforementioned questions, then experts say you may be spoiling your child.
Richard Bromfield, Ph.D., clinical instructor in psychology at Harvard Medical School is one these so-called experts. The good doc says today’s parents are so concerned with pleasing their children that they forget to set basic rules and boundaries.
“A child who perpetually pesters her parents is still searching for the limits she needs to grow straight,” Bromfield writes in his new book, “How to Unspoil Your Child Fast: A Speedy, Complete Guide to Contented Children and Happy Parents.”
Basically, the book is a guide for parents on how to erase the damage you may have caused by allowing their child to get whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Bromfield’s goal is to get parents to teach their kids how to appreciate the little things in life and ultimately raise self-reliant individuals.
He also includes five techniques to use in order to “unspoil” kids. According to Bromfield, parents should do the following:
1. Don’t reward bad behavior: Whining and demanding is a big no-no in Bromfield’s world. If you reward this type of behavior you are hurting yourself and your child. Translation: No matter how much your kid cries, begs and screams for a toy or candy, don’t give in.
2. Avoid idle threats: Bromfield warns not to make a threat if know you won’t be able to follow through with it. So, don’t threaten to throw away all of your kids toys if she doesn’t pick them up unless you really plan to trash them all.
3. Don’t bribe your kids: According to Bromfield, bribing weakens your authority and leads your child to expect a reward for everything she does.
4. Don’t ask for permission from your child and don’t explain all of your decisions.
5. Set rules and stick to them. Don’t make deals or negotiate with young children.
Do you follow these rules?
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