Self-confidence is a good thing, right? And as parents, we need to take on the role of the authority in our families—giving our children the strength and stability of knowing that we are in charge and taking care of “grown up stuff.” Self-confidence is not the same thing as arrogance however and if we get too caught up in our role as parent—becoming egotistical, proud or over-confident, we may be asking for trouble.
We are all flawed human beings—even parents—and while we want our children to respect our authority—being overly arrogant and big-headed can cause them to do just the opposite. We can lose our children’s respect and end up with NO authority if we try to jam it down their throats and try to convince them that we are perfect and flawless.
Surely you have heard the saying “pride goeth before a fall” and this goes for parenting too. Over-confidence, egotistical behavior and insisting that you are right no matter what will backfire. There needs to be some give-and-take and some mutual respect in order for our children to see us as the authority they need to. Besides, being right is not what makes us parents or authority figures!
Dialogue with our children and allowing them to ask questions and influence us will create a more trusting relationship. I have found that kids feel safer and have more respect for a parent who shows that they are vulnerable but still able to rise to the occasions and take care of things. As children get older, they need more logic and explanations and need to know that mom or dad will actually listen to what they have to say too—this is where we need to watch out for being so arrogant and egotistical that we cannot hear what our children have to say.