Many parents develop a bit of a ‘sixth sense’ when it comes to knowing what their children are up to. We learn to read their faces and discern when they may be stretching the truth or trying to pull the wool over our eyes. Other parents, however, are much more gullible. Either they do not want to know that their child is up to troublesome activities, or they genuinely cannot tell when they are being lied to. If you are one of those ‘too gullible’ parents or find that you are easily deceived by your child or children, it might be time to toughen up and brush up on your detective skills.
I know that we parents are often walking a fine line between respecting our child’s privacy and personality and trying to stay on top of what is going on in our household. I do not know about you but I do not always get it right and there are times when my skepticism comes off like a definite lack of trust. Still, I think I would rather be a bit suspicious than to find that my kids are running around like wild hooligans while I tell everyone what angels they are!
Pay attention to not just what your child says, but how he or she says it and notice whether or not actions and talk go together. If there are discrepancies in your child’s stories or if he or she says one thing but acts differently, it should raise your suspicions.
Ask questions and know your child’s friends (and their parents)—if your child gets angry and offended every time you ask questions, it could be typical teenage resentment or it could raise a red flag. Go ahead, ask questions, be un-cool and don’t be afraid to investigate if things don’t seem quite right. Additionally, if you know who your children hang out with (even those of you with young children) and can call their parents at a moment’s notice, they will be less likely to try to deceive you. Or, if they do, it will be much easier for you to catch them since you are on good terms with everyone else they know.