I have been known to overreact. There, I’ve said it. I find that when I catch myself getting incredibly upset at a pile of muddy shoes or a sink full of dirty dishes, chances are there is something much larger than the little infraction that is bothering me. The trick, however, is to figure it out, get things straight, and not take it out on my children.
So, what is really going on? When we parents find ourselves flying off the handle over little things (“Do you always have to slam the door?!!!!”) it can often be just a symptom of something bigger that is bothering us–and it is not always something related to our children either. I am a big believer in the power of fear and anxiety to cause me to overreact and get de-railed. Even though I believe that, however, I am not always consciously aware of the stressors that might cause me to lose perspective and jump all over my kids for something minor. Sometimes, that just takes more self-awareness than I can muster.
The old trick of counting to ten or giving oneself a time out when a temper tantrum is coming on can be a big help. Just pulling yourself aside when you feel things are bubbling up and you’re about to explode over a misplaced book bag can go a long way in preventing saying or doing something you’ll likely regret. I find that if I make myself take fifteen minutes when I get home before I say anything critical or fuss over housework and duties, I am also less likely to blow up at my kids over something small. As parents, I think we have more choice over how we act and react than we often want to admit–and if you find yourself getting agitated and angry over seemingly small issues, it makes sense to try to get down to what is really going on and deal with the real cause–not the symptoms.
Also: Take Time to Just Observe
If I Could Only Stop Lecturing