Question: Is it appropriate to tell my toddler to stop nursing? She’s 13 months and wants to nurse all the time but I don’t want her to. I don’t want to stop nursing entirely either. Suggestions?
Nursing All the Time
My first question would be to ask why she wants to nurse all the time. At 13 months it’s possible that she’s getting new teeth in which case, if it were me, I’d be inclined to just nurse her as much as is reasonable. However, if she feels like she’s not getting enough food–her natural response is going to be to nurse. If you’re tired of all that nursing, you need to increase the food and drink she’s taking in. I do need to note though, that there are other reasons to nurse besides hunger. You’re going to have to identify the root cause of all this nursing in order to make any progress.
Who’s the Mom?
You asked if it was appropriate to tell your toddler to stop nursing and my answer is: of course it is! You’re the mommy–it’s your job to set up reasonable boundaries. I strongly advocate nursing into toddler hood and beyond, but if you’re not comfortable with it–then it doesn’t need to continue. I do find that many moms feel like once they stop nursing they’ll be freed up to do other things and I have to say, that in my experience that’s just not how it works. Nursing is replaced by cuddling or other closeness. The bottom line is that you’re in this for the long haul and there’s no getting around holding, cuddling and spending large amounts of time sitting with a little toddler.
I would encourage you to first think about the root cause for all this extra nursing. Is it temporary (like teething), or is it a more defined characteristic of your child’s personality. Then you might want to consider setting up certain times to nurse. For my girls (who are much older) nursing is first thing in the morning and after nap time. They kind of fell into this pattern on their own, but I’ve helped them stick to it by offering substitutes as needed. We are no where near done nursing, but neither am I ‘nursing all the time.’ Keep in mind too, that 13 months, still is really young and your baby just might not be ready to give up more nursing sessions.