Question: I have this problem with my one year old every night. I end up putting him in his crib and letting him cry for 5 to 10 minutes. After this I go in the room like I am the savior and pick him up. He has worn himself out so much from crying that he lays down on my chest and goes to sleep. There has to be a better way. Then his bed time is 10. I need to figure out a way to get him to become tired earlier and to help him go to sleep easier. With him crying like that, will this be a traumatic experience for him? How do you suggest that I do so that he will get tired sooner? I let him take a nap between 1 and 2. He sleeps for 2 hours, sometimes longer. He has a good nap time but I wonder if he is sleeping too long. Do you know the average nap time that a one year old should have? Is there not enough time between his nap and what time he should go to bed? If you have any advice, can you please give it to me.
You are not the first parent to utter the words: ‘There has to be a better way’ when it comes to sleeping issues. I think many families struggle with how to get their baby down more easily and to that end, I’ll offer this thought: I don’t think that babies are supposed to go down easily. That could be the topic of a whole other blog, but I will say this: the more children I have the more I have come to realize that sleeping patterns or lack thereof, are a reflection of that child’s personality and temperament. Having an ‘easy sleeping’ child is not a badge of good parenting–as some like to make it out to be. The more you try to tune into your child’s cues, the easier getting him to sleep will come.
With that said, I feel your frustration. My initial thought in reading your post is that 10pm is a really late bedtime for someone who has napped at 1 or 2 in the afternoon. . .even if the nap was a few hours long. You are focusing on ‘tiring him out’ rather than putting him to bed at the time of day you think he needs to go to bed. I would choose a bedtime that’s earlier, and set up a bedtime routine that is consistent and happens the same way every night. This will set the stage for sleeping.
To answer your question regarding napping, a long nap at 1 or 2 in the afternoon seems normal to me at his age. Truth be told, most of my one year olds took two naps each for about 1 to 2 hours. So him having ‘too much sleep’ and not being tired enough, I doubt is the issue either.
So what is the issue? He probably really loves mom. In our house, our most successful bedtime trick is to have my husband put the children down. I don’t know what it is but babies do all sorts of things with daddies that they don’t do with mommies–falling into a peaceful sleep induced stupor is one of them.
My other thought for you is that perhaps your baby is more sensitive to stimuli and needs absolute quiet, absolute darkness and no pretty nursery baubles to entertain him. This tends to be more true with boys than with girls. You may want to consider making his crib area more plain if it is not already.
Should You Let Him Cry It Out?
Personally, I’m not a fan of crying it out. I think that when you have an infant who can’t speak, crying is their only means of communicating and if you ignore that, then you’re communicating that the child can’t depend on you. It’s just my theory anyhow. But if you’re comfortable with crying it out, I would suggest a controlled crying method where you don’t pick the child up, but come into the room and pat his back or otherwise let him know you are there and then leave again.
Hopefully this has given some of you some things to think about. I’m always happy to get questions and answer them whenever possible. So feel free to drop me a line!
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