As I mentioned earlier, a friend of mine is getting married and has questions about how to make her relationship as successful as possible. She gave me permission to share some of her questions, and my answers, with you.
Q. What are some causes of divorce you’ve seen personally?
A. Earlier today, we saw a list of causes that can apply to couples anywhere. The causes I have personally witnessed are subheadings of each of these causes.
The first and most common cause I have witnessed is pornography. I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and we believe that viewing pornography is against God’s laws of purity. When a man in our church chooses to indulge in this vice, he is turning away from the counsel of his religious leaders, in addition to having sexual experiences that do not involve his wife. If the husband is repentant and seeks to put this behind him, his wife will generally work it through with him, but there are far too many men who don’t choose to give it up. This hurtful addiction is the #1 cause of divorce I have personally witnessed.
The second most common cause I’ve seen is unrighteous dominion. There are men who feel that they should have power or control over their wives and families, and rather than leading and guiding their loved ones, choose to dictate and command. This branches out into emotional abuse toward the wife and children.
As I sit here, thinking through the various divorces I’ve witnessed, every one that comes to mind falls into one of these two categories. In each case, it’s possible for those involved to fix the situation and to mend the relationship with their spouse, but when they decide they’re not willing to take that step, divorce is the natural consequence. It’s very hard to stay married to someone who doesn’t want to stay married to you.
In future blogs, we’ll discuss what can be done about avoiding these causes of divorce, or mending them, should they appear.
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