We’ve talked about picking one’s battles with children here in the Parents blog and we’ve talked about power struggles and all sorts of other “struggles”–not to mention all the different times that family life calls for letting go. But, what about those times when giving in and letting go ARE NOT the orders of the day? What about those times when digging in and holding one’s own as a parent is really the best thing to do? Sometimes, fighting those battles really is worth all the stress and trouble…
While I can think of plenty of times when I have had to learn how to let go and not make a fuss with my children, I can also think of several key times when I just knew in my heart of hearts that giving in was not what was needed. Standing one’s ground in regards to setting expectations around safety, drugs, alcohol, criminal behavior, or core beliefs and values is an important part of parenting. While we may not actually be able to control what our child does, we still need to be able to stand strong in what we believe is right. Of course, we WANT our child to realize that we are right, that we are looking out for their best interest and to get on board with our point of view. They may not ever get there but that doesn’t mean that it is not worth the trouble for us to take a stand and stick with it.
So, when you have a three-year-old misbehaving or making dangerous choices, or you feel as though you’ll scream if you have to tell your seven-year-old to put on her bicycle helmet one more time–ask yourself if it is really worth the trouble to be a consistent parenting force? Chances are, while there are plenty of times when it is best not to pick a petty battle, there are also plenty of times when no matter how frustrating, tedious, or aggravating it is to continue to hold fast–it IS worth the trouble to maintain your integrity and involvement as a parent.
Also: Setting Boundaries in the Face of Opposition
How Good Are You at Setting Limits?