I wrote a couple days ago about letting ourselves accept help as we work to build and operate our home businesses. It occurred to me that accepting and actually “asking” for help can be two related, but very different challenges. Sometimes, the assistance isn’t just offered up and we have to learn how and when to ask for the help we need.
The first impediment to asking for help that many of us wrestle with is not wanting people to think we are weak or incompetent. When it comes to running a business, we tend to want people to think we are capable and “in charge.” We may have even heard some negative comments or had people close to us tell us they thought our starting our own home-based business was irresponsible or a bad idea. So, admitting that we could use a little help seems like admitting defeat or giving those nay-sayers the opportunity to gloat. My suggestion is just to NOT ask those people for help, but find individuals you can trust and who can actually be a help!
Getting organized and having a plan for asking for help can also be a good way to go. If you know exactly and specifically what you need help with, (running errands? Picking up the kids? Stuffing envelopes?) you can target your request or “ask” for just that specific job and ask the right person. And, what if the person you ask is unable to help or unreliable? Try someone else. I have definitely been in a position where I asked for help from a friend or family member only to be refused or feel “let down” by their inability to actually be available and helpful. I had to learn not to take it personally, and to remember that asking is not always receiving. Some people are not good candidates for helpers and we learn through the experience. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try again and find a more reliable and dependable resource.
Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness or resignation. Used appropriately and sparingly, our ability to build community and support and access help when we need it is actually a sign of maturity and healthy relationships. Running a business and a family is hard enough even if that were ALL we were doing. It stands to reason that we might need a helping hand now and again and we may just need to learn how to go about asking for that help we need.