I’ve written before about how important it can be to identify and understand what our triggers are as single parents so that we can learn how to cope and react appropriately. In the past year or so, I have learned that when individuals—whether it is kids, people in my work, or just individuals I interact with in the grocery store—have an attitude of entitlement or want special accommodations or special treatment, it is a real trigger for me! No matter how relaxed and open-minded I try to be, for some reason, my single parent hackles get raised when people start asking for and assuming that they have special conditions, needs, or should be treated with uniqueness.
I’m still working on sorting out my strong and frustrated reactions. I hadn’t realized that I was such an egalitarian or someone who felt so intensely about fairness and equality until more recently. I think my attitudes are directly influenced by my experiences as a single mom too.
I have taught my children that no matter how hard you think you have it, there are always many people who have it worse. Why should we ask for special treatment or accommodations for ordinary things when there are people who have to struggle and work just to get the most basic needs met in a day? While I am all for human service programs and those situations that help out those who are less fortunate and truly in need—granting entitlements to people because they think they are smarter, more important, or somehow need special coddling makes me crazy. That is a huge trigger for me! I have tried to imagine what might be going on in people’s heads, and I’m still working on developing understanding and compassion—but for the time being, I know that this single parent surely gets peeved when people start in with the “I’m special” or “My family is special” and “we deserve X, Y, and Z.” In my mind, we are all in this living together and by focusing on what we can do for others, instead of how we can cut to the front of the line or get more than our fair shares, the world would be a much better place.
Also: Who Am I Really Angry at Here?