Thank you for joining us for part three of our interview with Coach Steven Reilly, author of “The Fat Lady Never Sings.” If you missed parts one or two, click here to catch up.
Steven, you worked closely with coach John DeFrancisco on the Derby High School championship team, and I can tell he was a very influential person in your life. What did you admire the most about him?
His resilience as a person, his loyalty to his friends and family and his sense of humor.
He really could have been a comedian. Whenever he’s invited to roast somebody at a banquet, he brings the house down. Look at it this way — I put up a poll on the book’s website asking readers to vote as to who should play John D in any movie version of the book. It was a close vote, but Danny DeVito won out over Jack Nicholson, Kelsey Grammar, Jim Belushi and Jason Alexander. What does that tell you? One voter e-mailed me to tell me that only John D could play John D.
When I first started coaching with John I remember one of his friends was going through a divorce and had nowhere to stay. John let him stay at his house. A lot of people say their door is always open for their friends, but how many of them really mean it? He’s a guy who, every night without exception, either calls or visits his elderly mother to make sure she’s okay.
I admire the fact that although John was quite successful as a coach in Derby, winning two state championships in his two times being in “the big dance,” he never let his ego get in the way. I also admire him because he finally quit smoking which I know (and any reader of the book would know) was very difficult for him to do.
Is “The Fat Lady Never Sings” going to be your only book, or do you have others waiting in the wings?
I don’t think it will be my only book. However, I’m starting to work on a screenplay for the book. I first had to read everything I could get my hands on about screenwriting.
You’ve had a lot of experience in coaching and working with other coaches. What are some of the major mistakes you see coaches make, and what are some of the most positively impacting things a coach can do?
One of the major mistakes I see many coaches make is they do not get to know their players well enough. You can’t motivate them until you know what makes them tick. On the high school level, teachers who are also coaches have an advantage and a disadvantage. An advantage is that the teacher/coach gets to see his student athlete a lot and therefore knows him better than a non-teacher. For example, I really don’t believe there are many players who act like dingbats in the classroom who suddenly become coachable on the playing field. The same students who are not reliable in the classroom usually end up the same way on the field. Sometimes, however, there is the occasion where a student athlete just isn’t a good student albeit a respectful one, but excels on the field because he likes to play.
A major mistake I see in the summer and fall is what some might refer to as the “Daddy Ball” syndrome. Many coaches out of necessity on the Little League, Babe Ruth, American Legion and similar programs are also parents of players on the field. It’s the rare coach/parent who can separate himself/herself and treat their son or daughter who also happens to be a player just like any other player and be fair to everyone. Unfortunately, those same kids sometimes become more difficult to coach when they are later treated just like everyone else because on the higher levels generally nobody cares whose kid you are. Many parents try anything to achieve what they perceive as protection for their child when in fact they are actually making it worse. They try to get to be coaches of “All-Star” teams to insure their kid makes it and so on and their memories are long when someone doesn’t favor their kid . But when you get to the high school and college level things change and parents get disgruntled when the “All-Star” given favored treatment.
I know that a coach can positively impact a player. Sometimes coaches are counselors, sometimes we are mentors, but all the time we provide living examples of the way to live on and off the field. If we do it right, the rewards are tremendous. Not long ago, Bobby Murcer graciously wrote me to tell me that one of his dearest friends today is his high school baseball coach in Oklahoma. He also explained how they remained friends throughout the years and how they are closer now than ever. We as coaches can be and should be an “encourager to many.”
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us, Steven. It’s been fun and informative.
If you would like more information about Steven and his book, you can visit his website here.
See my review of “The Fat Lady Never Sings” here.