Author Archives: Ellen Cabot

About Ellen Cabot

Ellen is a wife and mother of three in the Tampabay area. She has been married for 15 years, and she and her husband are in the process of trying to adopt children from the foster care system. Ellen grew up believing that family is the most important thing, and that your family members are the only people who will always be there for you no matter what. Upon learning that there are children in the foster care system who never find a home simply because they are above the age of 7, she and her family decided that they wanted to provide at least one girl (maybe more!) in foster care with a warm and loving home and a family to call her own forever. Besides adoption, Ellen is passionate about (almost obsessed with) religion, and she enjoys spending time with her family, watching movies, and reading. She is excited to have the opportunity to blog about the adoption process for the community at Families.com!

Mentoring

I know it’s been a while since I have posted anything. And for that I apologize. I have been a bit on the busy side… and, to be completely honest, I’m also just not sure what to say at this point. We have been asked to be a mentor family to a young girl who is freaked out by adoption. I discussed this possibility with the adoption recruiter over the phone, and in the brief discussion we had she mentioned something I hadn’t really thought would be quite as big of a problem as it is. She said that most … Continue reading →

Mentor Family?

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I contacted the adoption recruiter regarding one of the girls we were matched with, and instead of putting me in touch with her social worker she informed me that this girl is sort of freaked out about the idea of adoption, and she asked whether we would be interested in starting out as a mentor family. That is all the information I have for the time being. She just left me wondering… What does that mean? Is this just a way of slowly introducing her to a family? Is this a one time thing, a way of easing her into … Continue reading →

Rent or Buy: Our experience with home ownership

We bought a home mainly because we were always told that we should… not because it was right for us, but because it was expected of us. We were told that home ownership is important for stability of your family, real estate is always a good investment, and that owning a home would be cheaper than renting. I actually have a friend who used to argue these points with me so vehemently that I can’t even have the discussion with him any more. I understand that owning a home can be a really good investment. But I also understand that … Continue reading →

THEY said “No” this time

Tentative results of the match meeting are in… the adoption recruiter emailed me to say that we presented really well at the match meeting, and that they all liked our family. She also said that, while nothing is decided as of yet, the team really wants to place this child in a family where she is the only girl. They want her to get all the attention she needs, and feel that she will do better in that sort of environment. Understandable. But, disappointing. I was really optimistic about this match. And they haven’t contacted us about any others. So … Continue reading →

Rent or Buy?

My husband and I have been renting for a long time, but we did own a home briefly. We have only spent about three years as homeowners, but we have spent about 13 years as renters. We have rented condos, apartments, townhouses, and single family homes, and we have learned a lot along the way, so I want to share some of our first hand experience with renting, and also some things we learned from owning. Although we loved our home while we had it, we did not really enjoy being homeowners, and I think we both agree that buying … Continue reading →

My Story: I was a teen mom

I was pregnant at 17 years old; my daughter was born after I turned 18, though. I would never say I regret having my daughter, she’s one of the best things to ever happen to me, but I will say that my life has been far from easy, and I would never recommend that anyone follow the same path I did. And I was one of the lucky ones… I was lucky that I was far enough through high school when I got pregnant that I was able to finish and get my diploma before my baby was born; I … Continue reading →

The Adoption Process – Part III – Matching

This is where we are right now, so this is where I will stop… for now. I’ll finish out the process once we have gone through it so that I can give my own perspective on it. So far we have received child studies on three girls. The child study is like the home study, only it describes the personality and life history of a child who is available for adoption. The study is given to us to review together, and if we decide we want to take it further we let the social worker know. She then puts us … Continue reading →

What speaks to you?

“You don’t need to have a home that’s like anybody else’s. Take the ideas that speak to you. Use your imagination. Create something wonderful…” ~Oprah I was recently asked if I would write for the Home section of the site. I admit, at first I hesitated. I’m not a very homey person. I don’t know the ins-and-outs of decorating, entertaining, or gardening. And, to be completely honest, I worried about writing on a topic that I don’t feel as confident in. Then I realized something… a lot of people don’t feel confident in these areas. A lot of people are … Continue reading →

The Adoption Process – Part II – The Home Study

The purpose of the home study is to tell a story about you and your family. The social workers come to your home at least a couple of times, they will look around your home, meet with all family members, and spend hours talking about your lives together. Our home study started with a meeting, in our home, with a social worker. She went over and explained all of the paperwork she needed us to complete, and she went over the process again so that we would know what to expect. The entire first meeting took all of about fifteen … Continue reading →

Sex-Ed vs. Abstinence… Can we have it both ways?

I spent a few minutes this morning looking through articles about teen pregnancy… news, trends, resources… and I was struck by how strong the fight still is over what programs should be taught to our youth. On the one side we have the belief that abstinence only programs are the way to go, that we must teach our children that they have to wait, there is no other option that is sufficient to prevent pregnancy. On the other side we have those who believe that teenagers need to be taught comprehensive sex education, the belief that knowledge is power and … Continue reading →