Author Archives: Ellen Cabot

About Ellen Cabot

Ellen is a wife and mother of three in the Tampabay area. She has been married for 15 years, and she and her husband are in the process of trying to adopt children from the foster care system. Ellen grew up believing that family is the most important thing, and that your family members are the only people who will always be there for you no matter what. Upon learning that there are children in the foster care system who never find a home simply because they are above the age of 7, she and her family decided that they wanted to provide at least one girl (maybe more!) in foster care with a warm and loving home and a family to call her own forever. Besides adoption, Ellen is passionate about (almost obsessed with) religion, and she enjoys spending time with her family, watching movies, and reading. She is excited to have the opportunity to blog about the adoption process for the community at Families.com!

First Match Meeting

We went to our very first match meeting on Friday. This was for match #2. We met with the adoption recruiter, along with the child’s case worker and guardian. We also heard briefly from the girl’s current foster mom, who called in for the meeting. I have to admit, I am really hopeful. I just love this girl already, and I think it’s because she is a lot like me. She has been through a lot, she has trust issues, she is scared to get close to anyone, and all that is understandable. But, she is also motivated and determined, … Continue reading →

In need of foster/adopt success stories

I’m a big fan of the TV show Criminal Minds. This show, in case you have never seen it, follows the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. They profile criminals, determine the type of person they must be looking for, the personality of the criminal and the most likely progression of their crimes, all based on the actions of the criminal and the clues left behind. Tom and I were watching Criminal Minds last night, and it was an episode about a young couple who go on a killing rampage. Not a surprising story line for a show like that, … Continue reading →

Match Meeting this Friday!

A couple of weeks ago I emailed the adoption recruiter requesting more information about the third child we were matched with. I hadn’t heard back from her. Around that same time I left a voice mail for the case worker for the second match, and I hadn’t heard back from her either. I was starting to wonder if I had done something to make them stop calling… which, in retrospect seems pretty silly… but I had been leaving messages and emailing for how long with no response?! Well, I finally heard back from her. She called to let us know … Continue reading →

Saying “I Love You”

My daughter asked me a question the other day, and it has gotten me thinking. Considering the changes that will take place, and how we, as a family, will deal with them. She said she loves me, and then she asked if I thought the child we adopt would say that. I don’t think for a second that a child we adopt will come into this family and immediately tell everyone how much she loves them. Actually, she may never feel that, and if she doesn’t mean it I don’t want her to say it. I have a thing about … Continue reading →

Waiting… waiting… waiting…

This is getting a bit ridiculous. As I sit here and think about kids who need homes, who need loving, permanent families, and I write about how much we have put into this adoption… classes, paperwork galore, references, background checks, research, discussion… we are finally at the point where we have an approved home study in hand and can be matched with a child, and what is happening??? Nothing… We wait, and we wait, and we wait. We have had three potential matches presented to us. One we said “no” to. Two are still possibilities. But, what is going on … Continue reading →

Banning gay adoption

I don’t typically like to post about such controversial topics. However, I receive regular emails from the Child Welfare Information Gateway, and in reading one such email I was struck by two opposing news articles. They were both right at the top, one right after the other. The first two links, in fact. The first link was to an article about a man who fought Florida’s ban on gay adoption, and as soon as it was lifted he proceeded to adopt two boys, brothers who had been in his home as foster children for a number of years. Martin Gill … Continue reading →

Things I never would have considered – Part I

I’m off to a bad start in 2011… at least as far as blogging goes. I had some technical difficulties at the start of this month, and it took me some time to get back up and running. Unfortunately, “back up and running” meant buying a new computer while we tried to fix the old one! The old one, as it turns out, is now nothing more than a rather large paperweight. During the first couple weeks of this month, while I was dealing with the computer problems, I spent some time thinking of what I have been writing here, … Continue reading →

Match #3: Surprises along the way…

We’ve been presented with another match, and when I read the information I was convinced this was an absolute “No.” There was very little hesitation from me this time around. Although I still feel horribly bad saying that, there are just some things we absolutely cannot accept… at least not at this point in time. Still, I discussed the child with Tom. I thought, after sixteen years together, that I had him figured out. I sort of thought I had a good handle on the type of person he is, and I thought I could predict the type of child … Continue reading →

Match #2: Expectations – Good or Bad?

I’m still not sure there will be a moment when we know, without a doubt, that any particular child is *right* for us. A few people have said that there will be times when we are at least more comfortable, more optimistic than we were with the first match. That there will be times when we won’t have nagging concerns, and when the worries we do have will be the normal, natural ones that you would expect to have. I think that is what we are experiencing now. We have a new match, and we are much more comfortable with … Continue reading →

My passion for this cause…

It’s becoming irrational. I wish I could fully express it, I wish I could make you understand, and I wish I could make you feel it too. I mentioned in an earlier post that I remember, from my childhood, wondering why more people didn’t adopt. I remember having the understanding that there were children who desperately needed homes and not understanding why more people didn’t take them in. I remember discussing adoption with my husband. I remember when we realized that we were in a position to do this, that we had reached a point where we felt ready, and … Continue reading →