Author Archives: Pam Connell

About Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism. She resides near Seattle with her husband Charles and their three children. Pam is currently primarily a Stay-at-Home-Mom to Patrick, age 8, who was born to her; Meg, age 6, and Regina, age 3, who are biological half-sisters adopted from Korea. She also teaches preschoolers twice a week and does some writing. Her activities include volunteer work at school, church, Cub Scouts and a local Birth to Three Early Intervention Program. Her hobbies include reading, writing, travel, camping, walking in the woods, swimming and scrapbooking. Pam is a graduate of Seattle University and Gonzaga University. Her fields of study included journalism, religious education/pastoral ministry, political science and management. She served as a writer and editor of the college weekly newspaper and has been Program Coordinator of a Family Resource Center and Family Literacy Program, Volunteer Coordinator at a church, Religion Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Youth Ministry Coordinator, Camp Counselor and Nanny. Pam is an avid reader and continuing student in the areas of education, child development, adoption and public policy. She is eager to share her experiences as a mother by birth and by international adoption, as a mother of three kids of different learning styles and personalities, as a mother of kids of different races, and most of all as a mom of three wonderful kids!

A Middle-Grade Novel to Skip

There is a dearth of adoption stories, either fiction or non-fiction, for kids in between the picture book stage and the young-adult novel stage. So it’s doubly disappointing that the latest one I read perpetuates old stereotypes. Trophy Kid, or How I Was Adopted by the Rich and Famous is by Steve Atinsky. We hear a lot nowadays about celebrities adopting. Atinsky did have a creative idea to look at what a 13-year-old son of movie stars (one of whom is a political candidate) thinks of his adoption ten years later. Jozef Francis (Joe) was orphaned by the fighting in … Continue reading →

More Reassuring Books for Adopted Children

Some time ago I published a blog on Reassuring Your Adopted Child. This blog shares some more books with reassuring messages for adopted children—and for all children. Max Lucado, author of spiritual books for both adults and children, has two books which I believe will be helpful. The first book is Just in Case You Ever Wonder. The illustrations by Toni Goffe begin with a young infant, but the text could be for either birth or adoption: “The same hands that made the stars made you.” “God made you like no one else.” “And since you were so special , … Continue reading →

Children’s Books on Diversity and Feelings

My last blog and the one before that highlighted books showing diverse families such as adoptive, interracial, stepparent, single parent, multigenerational. This blog will spotlight books that: * look at diversity of abilities and disabilities as well as looks *help kids deal with diverse feelings I’ve recommended before—but can’t recommend highly enough—the Sesame Street book We’re Different, We’re the Same. Using Sesame’s Street’s trademark mixture of all kinds of people, animals, and friendly monsters, as well as kids’ favorite character Elmo as cameraman (camera-monster?), the book shows pictures of all different types of noses, eyes, skin color, body size and … Continue reading →

Book Review: Families Are Different

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My last blog reviewed two books on families which showcase the diversity of families in gorgeous photographs of families, both doing everyday things and celebrating special events. Families Are Different was written and illustrated by Nina Pelligrini, a mother of two adopted daughters who said this book was inspired by feelings expressed by one of her daughters. The book’s characters are two daughters from Korea and their two white parents. With its simply-drawn illustrations and its matter-of-fact narration by one of children, the book is well-suited to younger children but makes a point that will be appreciated by older children … Continue reading →

Book Reviews: Books on Families

Two general books about families include adoptive, multi-racial and special-needs families that will be of interest to adoptive families. The photos in both will appeal to young children and the text will spark discussion for older children and their parents. Photographer Ann Morris ‘ trademark style is books with one theme, such as “Work”, “Hats”, “Carrying Babies”, and show pictures of people all around the world doing these things. The text is kept simple and the photos speak for themselves, although an index in the back provides a caption for each picture explaining what country it was taken in and … Continue reading →

Anniversary Celebrations in Adoptive Families

My last blog talked about rituals and celebrations for adoptive families. Of course, adoptive families celebrate the normal family occasions such as birthdays. While these absolutely should be celebrated, sometimes an adoptive child may also feel sadness on their birthday, as they realize that it is the anniversary not only of their birth, but of that their birthparents decided not to parent them. (I have written a blog that talks about helping a child deal with mixed feelings surrounding birthdays.) Many adoptive parents also celebrate “Gotcha Day” on the anniversary of the day they received the child. Some parents try … Continue reading →

Rituals and Ceremonies For Adoptive Families

Adoptive parents are a diverse group. On average they are slightly higher income than the general population and have a slightly higher average educational level than the general populace. They come from all religious persuasions and from none. For those adoptive parents who practice a religion, that religion can be a bonding force for their new family. Families who do not practice a religion may nonetheless seek a special ritual or celebration to mark the arrival of a child and various milestones in the adoption process and in the family’s life. Some families have entrustment ceremonies when birthparents place an … Continue reading →

When What Kids Hear is Not What You Say

My last blog talked about my shock when my Regina, aged seven, reacted to a film showing a young St. Patrick being captured and taken to Ireland as a slave by remarking that St. Patrick was being “adopted”. I described a conversation I had with her the next day, asking her what she’d thought, and she’d talked about adoption meaning being taken from one country to another to live. I got in a few points of clarification before she lost interest. After that conversation, I remembered that two days before we watched that movie, Regina had overheard my telling her … Continue reading →

She Thought WHAT was ADOPTION?!??

On St. Patrick’s Day, we watched a family film about Patrick’s early life and his years in Ireland, as a slave and then a missionary. After the scene where Patrick is captured from his family’s town in Britain and taken to Ireland, seven-year-old Regina ran to my husband and asked if Patrick was being adopted! I was, of course, horrified. Unable to hear the rest of their brief conversation, I asked my husband later. He’s great with kids but can be a little frustrating when describing detail, so I’m not sure exactly what they said. Later he calmly told me, … Continue reading →

Can We Emphasize Culture Too Much?

The latest issue of Adoptive Families’ magazine has an article by Mei-Ling Hopgood. She writes from the perspective of an adult adoptee, having been adopted from Taiwan in the 1970s and raised in the U.S. by white parents, together with her two brothers adopted from Korea. I’ve written before about the discomfort I sometimes feel regarding how much to emphasize my daughters’ birth culture. Many young adult adoptees are now speaking out and saying that they either thought of themselves as “white” or desperately wanted to be, that they had a tremendous shock in high school or college when others … Continue reading →